Deanna Gets Real

I took a long break from blogging and quilting over the past year or so. November 22, 2015, I was rushed in for an early emergent C-section. We had a scheduled one planned for December 2, but my babies decided to come earlier than planned.

Amelie in front, Jane in back

We found out at 18 weeks one of our sweet girls would not live long, if at all, after birth. Our other baby grew slowly. Their growth was monitored carefully, and we prepared ourselves for bringing home one baby; while mourning the loss of the other one.

Thanksgiving in the NICU

After 3 weeks in the NICU, we were able to bring our baby Jane home. I found myself in awe over her tiny body, tiny fingers and toes, that was healthy. I felt very blessed for having such a robust little girl; and I felt pained at the loss of our other daughter Amelie.

Home at 1 month old

Jane and I tried very hard to breastfeed, but were unsuccessful, so most of my days revolved around waking to pump, freezing and thawing breast milk and eating enough to make more. Jane continued to grow at her own pace and by 4 months, made it on the growth charts, however she was unable to roll over or sit up on her own. At about 4 months, I felt a change inside.

I was trying so hard to feed the baby and play with the baby and recover from surgery and on and on, postpartum depression sank in, and by month 5 I decided to get some help. I was prescribed some medication which took the edge off. My husband was assigned to work out of state for 10+ weeks, so I retreated to my sister's home and stayed with her while my body adjusted to the medication. She helped me so much. She, in her no nonsense way would allow me to cry and would cry with me, tell me it was ok to stop pumping, and helped me teach Jane to roll over and sit up. Jane cut some teeth and as if an alarm went off, she was able to roll over, sit up and scoot on her belly.

Now, Jane is an active 14 month old and enjoys independent play. I finally feel ready to begin quilting, sewing and blogging again.

Projects I Want to Tackle

I think I may have hit my nesting phase a week shy of the second trimester.  Recently I have spent many lazy evenings on the couch perusing pinterest to find delicious projects I would like to complete by October for my little humans.  I took stock of my juvenile prints and have a few items picked out to make receiving blankets, burp rags, bibs and their special baby quilts.

Here's a smattering of links I would like to use as "pinspiration" for these projects.

http://creativelychristy.blogspot.com/2010/03/tutorial-carseat-canopy.html?m+1

From website listed above

I will be doing double duty on this one!  Two babies, two car seats.  Perhaps this might be a way to differentiate the children once they arrive.  Her tutorial seems simple and straight forward.  Many of these car seat canopies use minky.  I seldom have negative feelings, but I HATE MINKY.  I am just too much of a spazz to use this fabric.  Especially on something that will be getting a lot of wear and tear.  Minky makes such a mess just by cutting it, let alone dealing with its propensity to stretching all over the place.  My babies are due in December, so they will need something that will help them maintain their body heat.  I think this will be an easy option and keep me from having to purchase more fabric.  I am determined to use up my stash!

http://www.stayathomeartist.com/2012/07/reversible-flannel-receiving-blankets.html?m=1

From website listed above

I have actually MADE these before eons ago.  I really like using coordinating flannel.  The two flannels stick together making cutting and sewing a treat.  I may not round my corners as the tutorial shows because I am not adept as sewing "round" stuff.  I want to use a quilting cotton and a flannel on mine.  I think that will be a nice alternative because during spring the temperatures in North Carolina have a tendency to fluctuate.  I feel like having ALL flannel might cause baby heat stroke.  No one wants that.

https://sewshesews.wordpress.com/2010/04/08/quilted-patchwork-bib-pattern-and-tutorial/

Photo from website above

I have loved these bibs since I first spied them on pinterest.  I think it would be a PERFECT project for all sorts of my fabric and batting scraps.  Her tutorial is very detailed, but I wonder if I can conquer my fear of curves.  I may modify the pattern and make the bottom portion more square and only deal with the curves around the neck.

I love the idea of fussy cutting shown on this one

I have also sketched out similar chevron quilts for each baby.  In my heart of hearts, I would love one of each.  When I sketched these quilts I figured the one on the left "felt" more masculine and the one on the right "felt" more feminine.  I am not sure if I want to use subtle prints for each color or use solids.  I still have a TON of Kona Navy left over from projects, {Deanna's Dresden and Naughts and Crosses} but I also have a celestial themed print that has swirls and stars with a dark navy background.  I want the grey to be a true grey, not charcoal.  I haven't really found the color I want to use for the grey yet.  I may not attain my goal of only using what I have on these ones.  I think it is allowed, though, since these will be the babies special quilts.  I want the yellow to be bright and sunny.  All of these colors are gender neutral, but complement each other well.  

The babies will share a room as we live in an apartment.  I plan on decorating primarily with Navy, Grey and Yellow.  I registered for yellow and white chevron black out curtains for their room.  I also plan on using a bunting I made as decoration for an anniversary party last year.

I also scored some free terry cloth fabric in white and cream to use in making burp rags.  I also plan on embellishing some cloth diapers with strips of fabric or trim.  Yet another way to use up my stash.

Due to feeling sick and tired, I haven't touched my sewing machine at ALL through the first trimester.  For all my mommy and or quilting friends, is this too ambitious for a first time mommy carrying twins?  What would your suggestions be on my baby quilt plans?

Let me hear your comments!

Musing Impending Implantation

Ken and Me on the Cruise in October

Hello Blogging, Quilting, and Actual in Person Friends!  I haven't been doing much in the way of completing or starting new quilting or sewing projects.  Instead, I have been preparing for embryo implantation.  Each night I get a shot or two in my hip area, take a myriad of medications or supplements and try not to "stress out".  

I am so thankful for the outpouring of love sent to us from our local and far away friends.  One woman offered to bring dinner without even asking!  My brother and dad are driving to North Carolina from Washington State to be here and help me while I recover.

The recovery part isn't so bad, its the three days of bed rest that might cause me to lose my marbles.  I think the hardest thing for me will be that I will have time at home, but not be able to sew.  For the first two days I have to be horizontal as much as possible.  I believe it would be quite challenging (and quite a sight) to sew in the prone position.  The second day I am able to take a shower, which is nice.

Our Embryos are at the blastocyst stage

Many have asked how I feel about the IVF process, and especially embryo implantation.  I am cautiously optimistic.  I have to stave off the impulse to purchase maternity clothes and make all sorts of baby quilts. I want to buy all sorts of tiny clothes and wash them and fold them and put them away in the dressers we have for our tiny humans.  I want to feel excited, hopeful and plan for the future of our tiny humans.  I want all those things; but I don't know how I will deal with the disappointment if the embryos do not implant.  I don't know how I can go thorough another two months of appointments and needle sticks.  Or even more scary, what if our child is born but lives for only a short moment.  These are also things I think about.  These are questions I don't have answers to.  I almost feel like there are more people excited for me than I am excited for myself.

Hoping to end up with one of these

Steps to baby makin'

Some of you are people I speak with or write to on a regular basis.  Some of you are far flung across the globe, and still some are a few hours drive away.

I decided to write a post about the needles, surgical procedures and the results of my infertility protocol.  Ken wanted a baby for Christmas, and well we pretty much got them - kinda.

Throughout the months of November and December, I was in and out of my doctor's office with ultrasounds and blood draws to monitor my estrogen levels.  I was getting injections of medication to stimulate super ovulation, and then keep the eggs to maturity.  So two shots a day and blood draw every third day.  My arms were sore, and as the eggs were developing, my ovaries swelled to the size of large grapefruits.  

Three days before egg harvest, I could not even stand to wear jeans.  I wore the same pair of yoga pants three days in a row because it was all that fit and met the decency criteria for public wear.  

Christmas Eve was the day of harvest.  We arrived bright and early at our clinic for our harvest surgery.  I wasn't nervous.  I changed out of the three day old yoga pants and into the flattering hospital gown.  I crowned my head with a hair net and sat in the pre-op/post-op recovery area.  

My anesthesiologist (the gas man) walked me to the surgical suite and got me on the table, then inserted my IV.  He talked with me for a bit and then I was out.  

They told me I was a good patient and they were able to harvest 19 viable eggs.  Ken and I were happy.  Ken provided a semen specimen and the embryologist joined egg and sperm.  We waited 7 days and got a call that 10 of our fertilized eggs divided and are now at the blastocyst stage.

Our little embryos are waiting while my body recouporates from the extreme hormone treatment from harvest.  I will begin preparation for my implantation in about three weeks.

I hope all goes well and my uterus does its job and gets ready for my little embryos to nestle in and grow into fetuses and eventually babies.

We will know if the implantation procedure worked  about a week after implantation.

Here's hoping for a positive blood test.

Thoughts on the Road to Making More McNays

This month we embarked on our journey towards parenthood.  It all started with a surgery. (That's what all good medical stories start with).  We were delayed in starting fertility treatments due to some nice cysts that grew on my ovaries.  Our doctor monitored them and decided that they needed to be dealt with.  

The following day I was getting looped up on some awesome drugs for an early morning procedure.  The doctor used a huge needle to aspirate both cysts.  A was "awake" but not aware of anything.  The last thing I remember was putting on the clinic's socks over my socks and moving towards the table with the stirrups.  Then I was waking up in my bed.  Ken helped me get dressed and drove me home, brought me into the house and put me to bed and I had no recollection.

Does anyone else find it eerie when recovering from anesthesia or other medication that causes amnesia???

Anyhooo - we waited all day Friday for all my medications to arrive from our special pharmacy.  The medication was ordered Thursday with overnight shipping for Friday.  The parcel didn't arrive at all Friday, although UPS did deliver the previously ordered dog shampoo.

I called UPS and they told me that the local distribution facility was closed for the weekend and my package would be delivered Monday.  I waited ALL DAY Monday and even missed work for this package.  I was also scheduled to tutor a student that evening, and so, after waiting all day; I decided to take my chances and go to my tutoring appointment.  

As I was leaving, I got a call from UPS stating that my package would arrive between 8:00 and 8:30 pm.  Although I got lost on the way to my appointment, I tutored my student and raced home - barely making it for 8:30.  

It was evident that UPS hadn't even arrived as there wasn't a note left on my door.  I beat them home!  I called UPS and spoke with someone to make sure my arrangements for picking up the parcel at the distribution hub. 

As I hung up the phone, I heard the familiar roar of a diesel engine and squeal of brakes.  The UPS man arrived with my medications at 9:00 pm.  

I promptly unpacked the box and stored the medications in their proper places (refrigerated and non refrigerated).  I gazed at our little Christmas tree and reflected on the little miracles that took place over the past two weeks.

1. Payments were made in full to begin treatments and pay for surgery
2. Surgery was successful and I recovered with minor pain
3. Money for medication was available and paid
4. My husband has a generous employer that offers great health coverage including fertility treatments
5. My husband was wise with finances in having money available to make sure payments were made
6. The medications arrived just in time for me to begin the hormone therapy
7. I have generous friends and family who participated in our fundraiser last year to help off set medical costs
8. I have a local support system that encourage me and are willing to give me my shots 

I think I need not any gifts for Christmas this year.  All we really want is for the treatments to be successful and result in pregnancy.

A Pair of Quilts and Wall Hangings

I don't really have a clever title, but this project was definitely a labor of love.  My fantastic friend Gina decided to inform her friends that she was pregnant with TWINS after she was four months along.  I was so happy for her.  I probed her for name ideas and her nursery theme.  She brushed me off the first few times, and finally she told me elephants.  I thought that was a sweet idea!  BUT Gina had specifications for her elephants.  They had to have trunks turned up because up trunks are good luck. 

Finished wall hanging and in process blanket

I searched the interwebs for images that were appealing.  I saw alot of cute stuff, but most of it was for girlie-bobs.  I didn't feel confident in my drawing skills.  I ask an artist friend of mine to do a line drawing, but alas, I didn't get it in time and if I was going to complete TWO wall hangings and TWO baby quilts, I had to get down to business.  

I found a piece of clip art that I liked and I used it as a reference to draw an elephant.  I cut out my paper drawing and outlined it on a piece of cardboard - like cereal boxes are made of.  I cut out my cardboard elephant; and traced it on to the interfacing that I ironed on to my grey fabric.  I traced my second elephant facing the opposite direction.  I used two different decorative stitches to applique the elephant on the background fabric.  I used spray baste to adhere the quilt sandwich and used simple outline and straight line quilting using my walking foot.  I am not at all skilled at quilting, but I have less anxiety when I use a walking foot.  I then made my own binding and machine bound each of the wall hangings using a zig zag stitch.  I used some scrap fabric to make two corner rod pockets for hanging.

Zach and Jeff on their special blankets

I made simple quilts for the babies because I wanted them to be sturdy for lots of loving and would hold up to washing.  I used some cute elephant print fabric with up trunks and decided to use the same grey from the elephants for the back.  I decided to inset a piece of grey fabric on the front and then use a strip of elephant print on the back.  I also found some flannel that had grey polka dots and used my same elephant template to make elephant appliques, facing different directions.  I used interfacing to stabilize the flannel.  

Twin Tummy Time